Friday, July 20, 2007
Seriously, I need to wake up from my dream and face reality. It's not that I am not aware of my situation; I just can't bring myself to accept my 'fate'. Though I have always lived with the belief that -God is always fair. When he gives you something, he also takes away something else from you. And when he takes away something from you, he also gives you something else.- but... I just can't understand...or rather, I have rather high ego and is very conscious of how others look at me...I just can't seem to resign to my 'fate'.
It's not that bad actually, I have seen worse cases. But...sometimes I just can't bring myself to forgive 'that someone' who indirectly causes my 'fate' to be like that. I know it's always complicated and I will never fully understand whoever that is, but I just seem to be unable to narrow the gap between us. It's perhaps the accumulated hatred or rather 'mai2 yuan4'.
It's just so scary to think about my future... I seriously need to do something...
I don't know who can really understand my plight. I am sure there's a lot of people with similar problems, just that people don't really talk about such things... And...I guess I just have to live life as it is. Like what I believed, I have to have faith in myself. And I have to so as not to let down the most important person in my life. She makes so much sacrifices for me and I really have to repay her. She really deserves something better than this. After all, she never had a good life.
It's not that bad actually, I have seen worse cases. But...sometimes I just can't bring myself to forgive 'that someone' who indirectly causes my 'fate' to be like that. I know it's always complicated and I will never fully understand whoever that is, but I just seem to be unable to narrow the gap between us. It's perhaps the accumulated hatred or rather 'mai2 yuan4'.
It's just so scary to think about my future... I seriously need to do something...
I don't know who can really understand my plight. I am sure there's a lot of people with similar problems, just that people don't really talk about such things... And...I guess I just have to live life as it is. Like what I believed, I have to have faith in myself. And I have to so as not to let down the most important person in my life. She makes so much sacrifices for me and I really have to repay her. She really deserves something better than this. After all, she never had a good life.
♥ Fiona, 11:47 PM.
